Today was a tough one.
Mom has been ‘off’ for two days, and today it hit us hard. Today she didn’t know who she was, where she was, or who any of us were. Furthermore, she seemed particularly scared and did not want to be left alone.
Several times today she was trying to figure out how to get home… while wrestling with the unusual familiarity she has with our house. “I am not sure how I’ll get home, but I keep thinking that’s my bedroom over there.”
You could see confusion written across her face, a part of her knew that this was home, and yet a part of her felt ‘out of place.’ It’s truly hard to describe unless you’ve seen it—both things feeling true to her at once.
What made it tougher today was her inclination toward searching. She wanted to get up to find whatever was on her mind in the moment. We knew today, she couldn’t be left alone. We had our daughter and children come and sit with her for a couple of hours as we tended to errands, and then I tried to work in the living room while engaging with Mom to keep her occupied.
It
Was
Tiring.
Days like this can pull at you.
There’s the natural instinct to correct, to explain, to try and bring things back into focus. And if I’m honest, there are moments it stings a bit too.
But I keep coming back to three things that keep me as grounded as this guy can possibly be:
- It’s not intentional.
- It’s not personal.
- And it’s not something I can fix.
So I continue trying to meet her where she is instead of pulling her back to where I am.
Reassure more than correct.
Stay close instead of stepping back.
Let calmness in the moment matter more than clarity.
And on days like today… remembering to prioritize my own rest and health keeps me fresh for the days when life just gets heavy. Today, I am thankful for the health and rest I have been getting because this, right now, is heavy.
If you’re walking this road too, you probably know what I mean.
Some days are lighter. Some are like this. But we need to just keep showing up.
With love and care,
Image created with Gemini AI