“A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark.” Chinese Proverb.
It is intriguing to me the impact others’ can have upon our children. They truly are marked by the influence of others, for good or bad. Sometimes dramatically, sometimes imperceptibly, but there is a mark.
Time and time again one of my children has approached me and asked something like, “Dad. Did you notice what ‘Roger’ just did?” Following our conversation about what ‘Roger’ just did I quickly recognized that our children are influenced by the words, actions, and behaviors of others. What Roger did was minor, but it left a mark.
Several years ago friends of our family encountered serious marital difficulty and separated from each other. These were friends we were closely connected with. Although these were friends of ours and not Mommy and Daddy ourselves, it still made a profound mark upon our children.
For the quite some time as I prepared to head to the office in the morning for a day’s work the children would hug me tightly, squeezing with all their might. As I released my hold upon them they would ask in their innocent little voices, “Daddy. Are you going to come back home?” That simple innocent question squeezed my heart tightly.
I would assure them each and every day with the same answer, “Yes, I will be coming back home tonight.”
This experience really got my mind pondering, “If experiencing others’ impacts our children like this, what impact do I as a Dad have upon my children?”, “How deep is the impact Mommy has on these little ones?”, “What impact do we as a couple have upon them?”
We are NOT passers by, we are not casual encounters, we are not even just close friends, or subtle influences. We are family and the words I use, the actions I take, have a profound and lasting impact upon my children.
As you reflect upon this consider the mark you are leaving upon your children.
Together let’s create a legacy of relational health for generations to follow.
Until Next time,
Your friend and pro-active parent coach
Gregory Bland