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Mother’s Deserve Their Day and Much More
Happy Mother’s Day
Supporting our Children’s Growth the EASEy Way part 3 by Gregory Bland
There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something you do it when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you make sure it gets done.
Commitment speaks of priority, “I will do this!” and is essential for providing healthy accountability and encouraging our child’s progress. It is here, at this stage of the parent coaching conversation, that we draw a line in the proverbial sandbox and ask our children to step across from simply dreaming to Securing a Commitment to action.
“In light of all that we talked about, what will you do?”
“Will you commit to that?”
When our child says, “Yes, I will commit to that,” it is a powerful act for both us and them. It raises the probability they will follow through, and provides us with the opportunity to Support their Growth by offering healthy accountability as they move toward their objectives.
Let’s return to our previous conversation and see how simple Securing Commitment can be.
| Conversation | Observation |
| Continuing previous conversation . . .
“Yes, that sounds good. Is there anything else you can think of?” “We could also make some greeting cards and maybe even bookmarks.” “Great ideas, is this something you would like to do?” “Yes, I would love to do this, it would be fun, and I think I could earn enough money this way, too.” “What, specifically, are you going to do?” “Well, I want to make money with this so I will need to check out how much it is going to cost to make calendars, cards and bookmarks before I decide which ones I will do for sure. So I guess the first thing I will do is check out the prices of paper and stuff I need, then decide what I will make. When that is done, I’ll begin making the stuff right away to take to the mall.” “When do you plan on starting?” “I’ll start this week.” “Great, in what other way can I support you with this project?” “On our next date day, will you take me to the stores and price out the paper, and materials we will need?” “Of course I will, that sounds like a great date day to me.” |
Assessing Desire: “I would love to do this,” is a strong positive indicator for me that she is motivated to work on this.
To Support Growth and ensure action we need to move beyond desire and Secure Commitment: What will you do and by when? I do this by asking what Hannah will specifically do, and then, when she plans to begin. This process keeps our children responsible for their growth, and at the same time gives us a great opportunity to support their growth. I offer continued support by asking, “In what other way can I support you?” |
Remember although we have broken this conversation into segments, it is one conversation as Hannah has been exploring the possibility of earning enough money to purchase gifts on her own. We’ve Explored Possibilities, Assessed Desire, and now Hannah has verbalized her commitment. She will check out the prices of the materials she will need, then decide what she will make to sell at the mall. Taking the time to walk this process is invaluable for our children. It fosters responsibility within their lives, allows them to creatively explore possibilities and choose to do something that is most appealing to them. This process fosters a healthy accountability structure and gives us as parents a great opportunity to Support our children’s Growth because further coaching conversations are not only possible but the expected norm.
In the next installment we will see what we can do as parents when plans change midstream.
Until next time,
Enjoy your journey into Pro-Active Parent Coaching
Your friend and pro-active parent coach
Gregory Bland
*Gregory and Lynn Bland currently reside in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada. They have recently completed writing their parent coaching book, “Pro-Active Parent Coaching: Capturing the Heart of Your Child, A Parent’s Guide to Coaching.” Additionally they are providing pastoral care, and participate in various speaking engagements. For more information visit Pro-Active Parent Coaching or write to greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com.
Copyright 2012 Gregory Bland | Pro-ActiveParentCoaching | Nova Scotia | Canada | greg@pro-activeparentcoaching.com
Mother’s Day Special on Pro-Active Parent Coaching Book
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Outside of North America you can purchase your copy through CreateSpace, Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, |
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Lazy or is it Something Else?
This week I had a great and potentially enlightening conversation with a young man of 16 years of age. We were sharing together about the incredible amount of work that a group of them completed previously in the week and he made a comment that caught my attention. ”Greg,” he said, “you know my generation now. They call us lazy but did you know it’s the parents fault?” ”What do you mean?” I asked. He continued, “Well. We were asked to do a significant amount of work around here. Truth be known, when we arrived at the time they asked us to be here, the parents had already done most of the work. So don’t call me or my generation lazy if you won’t let us work.”
I was intrigued to say the least.
Giving the TV a Much Needed Break Part 2 by Gregory Bland
When our family is ‘plugged in’ whether on television, computer, or cellular devices, the family is tuned in but not to one another. If we truly want our kids to value quality family time together, we have to demonstrate that it is a priority. There are many alternative options to unplugging the devices and tuning into one another.
We visited 5 TV (media) free activities in “Giving the TV a Much Needed Break” and I’d like to offer a few more for your consideration today.
1. Key in on something your child truly enjoys and join with them. Our children love going to the playground, and do so on a regular basis. We love the fact they are out and active, but what makes their day is when Mommy and Daddy show up, not simply to watch, but play. We enjoy games of grounders, tag, hide and seek and love to see them ‘come alive’ when we are active with them.
2. Turn a hobby into a time of relational connection. Our one daughter loves Photography so we will often take walks together, cameras in hand. Not only is this something we enjoy, it provides us a wonderful time of relational connection together. See some of her photos on anythingbutblandphotography.ca and facebook
3. Join a local organization together. This past year as a family we joined a local chapter of 4H where the children could join and participate in various activities of interest. Our oldest daughter and son joined woodworking, which I have included in my weekly routine. This gives us an incredible time together on a consistent basis, is something they look forward to, and we are developing a new skill set. Pictured here is our daughter with her first project completed.
Take some time together with your family and explore the possibilities. What are some things you could do as a family to turn off the media and increase relational connection within your family?
Until next time,
Enjoy your time together as a family.
Your friend and pro-active parent coach
Greg
“Dad Rules: Simple Manual for a Complex Job” by Treion Muller To be released April 2012
Recently I had the privilege of reading Treion Muller’s soon to be released book “Dad Rules: A Simple Manual for a Complex Job.” As you can see from the cover design the book is very attractive and appealing. Unlike some books, though, the content quality of “Dad Rules” exceeds the appeal and quality of the outward packaging.
From the beginning I was captivated by Treion’s writing style. His use of wit and humor to communicate profound truths (Rules as Treion calls them) inspired me to be a great dad, but further to take action, making the influence I have upon my children a positive one.
There were moments I found affirmation, “Hey, I do that!”, moments where I relived special memories with my own children, and moments when I thought, “That is a great rule, I’ll add that to my parenting.” All in all, “Dad Rules: A Simple Manual for a Complex Job” is packed with tid bits of wisdom and practical suggestions on how to be a dad that positively impacts his children.
Throughout the book we catch glimpses of Treion’s life and one thing that stands out most to me is his strong belief that the wisdom and learning we receive is not to be kept to ourselves but shared with others. ‘Dad Rules’ is the result of this belief put in action. Further he encourages us as dad’s to do the same, what we have received and learned, share with another dad who might benefit from it. Rule 81: “In rule 4 you were encouraged to ask other dads for advice, and in this rule you are encouraged to return the favor and look for opportunities to share what you have learned with other dads.”
‘Dad Rules’ is a book that I will pick up and read more than once and I am confident you will not simply enjoy reading this book but be inspired to be a great dad too. To learn more about ‘Dad Rules’ visit Treion’s website. To pre-order your copy of ‘Dad Rules’ visit Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
About Treion Muller
Treion Muller is a self-proclaimed “father in motion” of five delightful—but not perfect—children. Treion moved to the US from South Africa in 1995 to complete his bachelors and masters degrees in adult learning. He is currently Franklin Covey’s Chief eLearning Architect, business book author, national presenter, and social media and online learning expert.